Faith or Fear?

by Riezyl Barbadillo

It was on one of my conversations with an old professor when I first heard of this question. At that time I thought I understood what he meant when he said this. But to my surprise, it took on a really different meaning during the three-week Zamboanga Crisis.

 “Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear puts us into hopelessness, while faith rejoices in its God. You choose Faith or fear?”

A day before the crisis began; I’ve already set my mind to do a lot of things. I had the succeeding days planned well and I had my heart prepared to face the bulk of books I have to read for our module on cardiology. Along with this, I was also looking forward for the next community exposure. In fact, our team already met to discuss the things that we should bring for the community. Each member were also given their tasks so that when it will be time to return to the community, we will have less worries as to the materials that we will be using for the implementation of our proposed community health plans. Everything seemed to be going smoothly at that time but then some things just happen unexpectedly...

There was never a day during the three-week crisis that I never asked myself this question and allowed myself to turn to God and choose. Whenever I hear gunshots or bombs, I am always tempted to choose to be fearful. Our house is just a barangay away from the affected barangays and you can just imagine how terrifying it is to hear gunshots which seemed to be just outside our house. I was fearful, thinking that if we will have to evacuate, we have nowhere to go and worse, our relatives who were living in one of the affected barangays have come to sought shelter in our home as well. I was even more fearful when I was asked to pack my things and get ready to leave Zamboanga City for good. During these times, I seriously don’t know what to feel. All I know is that I don’t want to leave because Zamboanga is my home and will always be my home. I was fearful, but I chose to hold on. I chose to have faith.

Choosing between faith and fear is easier said than putting your choice into action. Sometimes you can unconsciously choose to be fearful especially when you are faced with a difficult situation. If I can go back through time, I would not want to go through everything again. It’s painful and it has already caused so much damage not only to me but most especially to those who were directly affected. But with everything that had happened, I can still say that some things are meant to happen for a reason – even bad things have its reason and it is hard to understand or accept that reason. I think this is when we realize that it is a matter of perspective which will eventually lead you to choosing which you think is better. Faith or Fear? You choose.